The Quarantine Diaries

Yesterday's post is going to remain private for now. It was not a good day, but I'm not ready to share why. Today is a new day, and I can choose how I approach it. I choose optimism and joy. I take my breakfast on the steamer chair on the veranda, browsing recipe books to decide what to cook for the next few days. We have groceries arriving at midday which will open up the repertoire. After The Archers - now broadcasting stream of consciousness monologues due to the lockdown - a programme comes on about birds and features a blackbird's territorial call; I'm amused to hear our blackbird calling back in response. No contract yet from the consultancy that has offered me a job. It's the weekend, so I try not to stress about that. I have a promotion ending today on my website, so I post about that on all the relevant social media platforms. I see a post from somebody local who has tomatillo plant to give away - I ask for two (you need a pair to get fruit) and offer squ...

What a relief! Today I don't have to worry about looking for a job. It's a real weight off my mind and I decide to cut myself a bit of slack. After breakfast I do some social media posts for my online shop, post an order and participate in the regular Friday catch-up for the charity I chair. Then it's on to job admin - I email the recruiter for the council role asking for a meeting early next week and arrange a meeting with the fourth member of the senior team for the consultancy I hope to join. I'm excited that things are moving forward. I have another look at our online shop - still no feta at Morrisons, so I try Iceland and find that not only is it in stock but they have delivery slots available this weekend! My bubble is burst when hubby announces that he's having some friends over tomorrow. It started with one invitation, to a friend who lives alone. Then suddenly it's four of them. The relaxation of the restrictions doesn't start until Monday, but he...

I have slept well, for which I'm grateful. I have a busy day planned which begins with a little admin and then an appointment with the practice nurse for the MMR booster I almost certainly no longer need as I won't be pursuing my application to the NHS Skills Bank. Given that I signed up near the beginning of the lockdown and we're now 10 weeks in it has taken a long time to join their skills pool and, notwithstanding the extra delay of having to get an MMR vaccination, I still don't have a log-in to assign myself to jobs and my two emails about it have gone unanswered. On the radio this morning I hear people who have signed up to join the Track and Trace service complaining that they haven't received their log-in and so can't sign in to the system and provide the service they're being paid for. There seems to be an issue with ICT systems implementation that needs fixing. My trip to the surgery is uneventful and I return to my desk briefly before packing m...

I wake far too early and my attempts to get back to sleep fail. I have, however, discovered Wireless Nights which I think will be excellent listening during sleepness nights due to Jarvis Cocker's soothing voice and confidential tone. After breakfast I get on with buying postage online and packaging up the things people have bought on eBay and my online shop. No sign of hubby emerging, so for the first time since lockdown I go out without showering … after all, I'm not going to get within 6 feet of anybody! The first parcel post box is full and my third parcel won't fit in the tray because the second one is jammed in it. I try to retrieve it but it's stuck fast so I guess at least it's safe. I go to the second one which is fine. My next stop is to drop off some surplus linen and towels to a friend who is collecting them for charity - I ring her bell and she unlocks her car so I can dump them in her boot; she tells me that later today her Mum will pick them up from...

The Dominic Cummings furore rumbles on and is the first thing I hear on the radio this morning. I begin my day by emailing the two people with whom I have been talking about jobs, one to let them know I'm no longer interested, and the other to see if we can bring forward the discussion we had scheduled for next week so that I can make a decision about the offer I've received. That meeting gets rescheduled for Thursday; both are very understanding about it. My son is due a call with the GP about his energy levels and trouble sleeping. It's due at 2.30, and comes at 2pm - he misses it. I have to call the surgery and insist that he speaks to the doctor, otherwise he'll have to wait until Saturday for another telephone consultation. Doc prescribes non-addictive sleeping pills, hubby picks them up from the chemist and they turn out to be the generic version of the ones I've already given him. We eat early - black rice risotto for the veggies and chicken risotto for...

Today is a Bank Holiday. Which means it's pretty much like every other day… it's rumoured that the government might introduce a bonus Bank Holiday this autumn to make up for the ones we've spent in lockdown. I was in two minds about whether to do yoga this morning, as my usual Monday evening class won't be taking place. I'm up in time, so I decide that I will and it turns out to be a fantastic start to my morning - a tough but enjoyable class that leaves me feeling much more alert and my muscles much more relaxed. I grab a late breakfast of home-made banana bread - the only thing I don't like about morning yoga is having to delay breakfast, as I like to eat as soon as I'm up. Somebody has bought one of the items I advertised on Facebook Marketplace so I arrange for her to collect that and then make some scones for my friend's visit this afternoon - I have some clotted cream left from Saturday so we can make an occasion of it. I set up my posts for an o...

A day of mostly chores - finishing clearing up the laundry room, doing some laundry, a little weeding, going through the Tupperware cupboard and matching everything so I can throw away the tops and bottoms that don't match, and listing some items on Facebook Marketplace to try and clear the clutter. My son messages me to say he hasn't managed to sleep and can he be woken at 5pm. I get a call from my friend who wants a footstool she has bought picked up from the seller - I'm happy to, but I have to go with wet hair as my hairdryer overheats when I try to dry it. The stool is massive, and my friend's house is quite small. It takes up almost the entire back seat of my car. She's going to come over for drinks on the veranda tomorrow so she can decide what to do with it. For now, it's in my office, but I'll have to move it for yoga. Some brilliant news arrives … my second cousin who was brought up in Canada and lives in America is expecting a second baby! A g...

I wake with a start - I forgot to complete the job application that was due in yesterday - then I remember that I didn't need to as I have been offered a job now. I get up with the intention of watching Stephen Fry's Hay Festival broadcast over breakfast; the festival has gone online and is free to watch. I can't concentrate though and before it ends I'm at my PC using his talk as background. I make chicken stock out of yesterday's chicken carcase and some ageing veg, then I set to work clearing out our laundry room. Hubby has been threatening to decorate it and I'm determined to get him doing something productive. I wake our son at 2pm as agreed, but at half past I have to head out as I have a date - my sister and I have arranged a surprise afternoon tea for Mum. We sit 6 feet apart and enjoy sandwiches, tea and cakes and it feels almost normal. We can't finish everything and I take brownies, strawberries and clotted cream home for my son, who is extremel...

A full on day today. My son has asked me to book him a doctor's appointment, but I have to call at 8am for that and I have an interview at 9 - I keep trying until 8.30 then wake hubby and ask him to take over so I can shower and dress.  It's a second interview for a climate change job with a council and I really get the feeling during the interview that things are going my way. The next step is likely to be a call early next week, I'm told. Hubby has gone back to bed when I finish the interview. I have another application due in today - it's based in London so I'm a bit ambivalent about the commute, although if they allow some remote working it's definitely worth considering. The role would suit me well and the money is great, so I get to work on the online application form. I have to leave off to join a networking event run by the charity I chair, and immediately after that I have a zoom call with the climate change partnership. It's dogged by technical i...

Fortunately I slept well, as I have in interview this morning … a quick breakfast and then final prep, looking through my presentation and adding notes. The interview goes really well, the reaction to my presentation is really positive, they seem impressed by my knowledge of their industry and its challenges and I feel like I handle their questions well. However, to the question of what happens after the lockdown, the response is that the job will be based entirely at their London office, and I'm really not sure how I feel about commuting. It's both a health risk, unless there is an effective vaccine, but also seems time- and carbon-inefficient given that we now know how well remote working can work. My friend arrives for coffee on the veranda, sans dog as it's too hot. She's brought some fresh leaves from her garden and the face masks I ordered from her. A milliner, unable to trade as usual during the lockdown, she's diversified into making masks from attractive ...

I struggled to get to sleep again last night and resorted to Sominex which did the trick - I slept through. I wake to eyes that are struggling to focus though. I'm wondering if this is an effect of the lockdown - I spend most of every day focusing on a screen and don't adjust my focal length as much as usual. I also think I'm losing muscle mass due to not walking so much. I think a daily walk would help with both of these issues. I get down to work preparing the presentation for my interview tomorrow, and my son appears. He hasn't managed to sleep at all and he's really struggling. It's partly due to his ADD, certainly, but also he's spending all day inside with the curtains closed and getting no exercise, so I try to coach him to adapt his habits to support better sleep hygiene. I make us both breakfast burritos and we eat them outside - it's a glorious warm, sunny day. I go back to my preparation but hit a wall - I just can get my thoughts straight...

I wake to a Facebook post that somebody has been casing cars and houses very close to our home. I alert my nearby friends. No doubt there are people driven to desperation who have fallen through the cracks of the coronavirus support programmes, so I'm trying not to be judgmental about the person. Our remaining shopping arrives while I'm still in my pyjamas. On the radio, I hear that President Trump has apparently announced that he's been taking an anti-malarial drug that is unproven, and potentially dangerous, as a coronavirus preventive. Even a supportive news station felt compelled to broadcast a warning against following his example. Unbelievable. I have an online meeting about a potential work opportunity at 10 - this goes well and we arrange a face to face (potentially at a distance) meeting for a couple of weeks' time. One of my suppliers pops by to deliver an order - the new ph-perfect shampoo bars which are selling so well I've already run out of one varia...

I have a long list of things to do today, but it's hard to feel focused. I settle at my desk and notice a shopping bag next to it - it contains the items I reported missing last night. I email customer services confession to the error and asking them to reverse the refund. I finally work out I must have had it in my hand when I went to my desk to check the substitutions on the email confirmation of the order during last night's delivery. I have a reminder for a job application but I can't decide whether to apply as it's in London. I defer it, as the deadline isn't until Friday. I spend a while on charity admin and cancel a couple of free trials for premium subscriptions. I'm glad I diarised these, as I would definitely have forgotten otherwise. I do some preparation for tomorrow's pre-interview, researching the charity and thinking about how I would find placements for the clients. It's warm outside, but with a chilly breeze. I pot up a couple of tomat...

Another disturbed night … although I didn't use the amitriptyline so I guess that's my own fault. I feel like I need to save it for when I have had a few consecutive bad nights. I wake to the aroma of freshly-baked bread - although I rarely eat it, it's one my favourite scents. I notice an order from my website, which turns out to be from the mother of a primary school friend of my son. We're not frequently in touch, although we're friends on Facebook, but when I confirm her order is ready to collect I suggest a coffee. We meet on the veranda and chat - she was due to exchange contracts on a house move just before lockdown so although her partner is furloughed there's no point him doing anything around the house so he's very bored. She's working from home and her son is back from uni like ours. I get another message from a friend I see more often - she's seen a gazebo on Facebook marketplace I might find interesting for when markets start up again....

I have errands this morning. I have stock to pick up from my supplier in Tadley, and my prescription is ready for collection. I go out just after breakfast, armed with a mask and sanitiser and a heap of trepidation, as my pharmacy is in the part of town with the highest infection rate. They are limiting entry to 2 people at a time, so I queue outside and when I go in it's not as bad as I expected. There are Perspex screens to protect the staff, although the one that serves me has her mask covering only her mouth. I drop my prescription on the floor of the car, followed by my mask, and breathe out. Picking up the stock is much less stressfull - I pick up the box from their doorstep, drop the items I'm returning and ring their bell, retreating to a safe distance and exchange pleasantries when they open the door. I'm back in time to prepare a roasted veg frittata for my lunch - better not to drink whisky on an empty stomach! Two of my friends join the zoom call, but there is...

I slept a little better last night, perhaps due to the CBD oil I used before bed. It seems to take the edge off the pain in my quad. I'm not out of bed until 9 though and my sister messages to say that she'll be over for coffee at 10 so breakfast then a shower and I'm just ready before she arrives. We sit on the veranda in the sun - 6 feet apart of course - and chat for an hour and a half. I check emails and spin a few plates before a scheduled call with the co-ordinator for our climate change partnership at noon. Then some lunch - leftover meat-based curry - rescuing food that would otherwise be thrown away is the only time I eat meat these days. In the afternoon I organise some stock orders for my online shop, progress a few other bits and pieces and go through the very long-winded process of trying to reclaim from the credit card company the money that Google incorrectly charged me for an ad they claim I sent live but I didn't. Hubby and I have a conversation about...

Another night disturbed by the pain in my leg. I get a lot of muscle and joint pain, but this is more like toothache in my leg - relentless and unresponsive to stretching or massage. I start calling the surgery at 8am and finally get through close to 9 - I'm offered a telephone consultation this afternoon. My respiratory symptoms are much better though, so seems like that was either hay fever or a flare up of my dodgy sinuses. I spend the morning at my desk, catching up on admin and preparing for my panel session at lunchtime. I review the sample questions, set up my video camera and find my headphones. Then shower and dress in something semi-professional - I even apply minimal makeup. It's almost like going out. I join the crowdcast session and meet one of the other panellists - the other is still trying to get online. But once we go live I can't hear the chair and so I take my lead from the other panellist and we bat back and forth with ideas … then the final panellist ...

I wake up feeling ropey again - my windpipe feels irritated, as if I'm going to develop a cough, and I feel a bit shivery although I'm not dizzy today. I can't stop worrying about whether it's Covid, although I have been so careful it's hard to imagine how I could have caught it. I have no time to waste this morning as the job application I  didn't get done yesterday needs to be in by noon and I have a live-streamed funeral to attend at 11. I get the job application done by 10.30 so I shower and get ready for the funeral. I have no idea how these things work so I dress appropriately in case I'm on camera; it turns out it's a one-way live stream so I could have kept my pyjamas on, although this would not have felt appropriate. It's a lovely service and there are around 10 family members there, more than I thought would be allowed. After the ceremony one of my friends suggests the social group who knew the deceased could have a zoom together to remem...

Today is our wedding anniversary - 20 years which, perhaps ironically, is normally celebrated with china. I don't really feel like celebrating and anyway hubby sleeps in, so it's a normal morning for me. I write his card, put some ribbon around the box of cheeses I bought him as a gift and leave it on the table for him to find when he gets up. I'm not feeling great today - I have a tickle in my throat and I'm coughing; I also feel a bit dizzy. I hope it's not Covid but it's hard to see how I can have caught anything at all when I haven't been in close contact with anybody. Yesterday I listed on eBay a couple of sweet vending machines I had bought for my team to use when I worked at my last company and today one of them sold! I get it packaged up, together with an order from my online shop. I take the latter across the road to the post box - and for the first time in ages have to wait to cross the road - but the vending machine is too big and hubby has offe...

I wake to the nagging pain in my quad and wonder about phoning my GP, but I have a number of calls scheduled today so I decide to ignore it. It's the start of the online sustainability festival at which I've been invited to join a panel on Thursday. I set up a post in its marketplace and attend the first session at 9am. Mid-morning I have a call with the climate change partnership, then I'm due a call at noon that doesn't happen. I drop her a voicemail, grab some lunch and then attend a webinar on Doughnut Economics at city level. Hubby's anniversary gift needs picking up, and when I get back around 3pm our son is still in bed - we started trying to get him up at noon, at his request. He arrives at my office door a while later looking dazed and confused, and I have to give him a hug. He accepts the offer of a mocha and a cheese toastie and disappears into the games room where his PC is set up. I really hope he's ok. Hubby got up earlier today and has started...

Another bad night's sleep, this time with a specific focus. I started to think about the things I enjoy that I may never be able to do again. Travelling abroad, watching West End shows, dancing - anything that involves close proximity, especially in public transport, now seems too risky to contemplate - at least until a vaccine is found. I manage to get back to sleep but these thoughts persist when I wake up. The PM is due to lay out his roadmap to resuming normal life this evening but my instinct is still to stay home where I can't get infected and unless I have confidence in the government's measures against the pandemic I don't plan to change my behaviour. My LinkedIn message from yesterday has already had a response, so I suggest a couple of dates and times for meetings. My UK friends have accepted the whisky tasting invitation and hubby is buying me some miniatures for our anniversary which is on Tuesday. Working out how yesterday's customer can pay online wi...

Another beautiful sunny day. After chatting last night to my friend who works in recruitment, I spend the morning adding a cover note to my CV and resubmitting one of my applications from yesterday which didn't give me the chance to add a separate cover note. Genius! I also check my business bank account, to find that my furlough payment has been received from the government, which is most welcome. Encouraged by the response I received from a local business I contacted yesterday I send a message to another on LinkedIn that is offering CSR accreditation. Then I organise an anniversary gift for hubby. That done, I treat myself to half an hour in the garden to top up my vitamin D. There's a growing theory that vitamin D deficiency leads to worse outcomes for those infected with Covid-19 and mine has been low in the past; it certainly won't do me any harm to make some. After lunch I pot up some of my seedlings and generally potter around the garden, then use the tyre pump I b...

Today is the 75th anniversary of VE day, and for the first time for weeks when I turn on the radio I hear something other than coronavirus. I'm feeling ambivalent about the celebrations, which seem to me to be uncomfortably intertwined with Brexit. I realise that Victory in Europe was coined as a phrase at the time, but I'd rather celebrate 75 years of peace than a day of victory and that's not how it seems to be framed. Since our house is not really visible from neighbouring houses there's no point in having a front-garden street party so there's no real pressure to take part anyway. I have a productive morning finishing off three job applications before 11am. I receive an encouraging email from a local business where I had applied for a job for which I am over-qualified in the hope of prompting a conversation - we arrange a call for next week. I also exchange emails with somebody who wants to volunteer for the climate change partnership and a contact from my pre...

I managed to get a better night's sleep but am still feeling lethargic today. Today's tabloid headlines are shockingly focused on the possibility of the lockdown being loosened on Monday, predicting that people will be allowed to meet and socialise in open spaces. There's no mention of the UK having reached the #2 position for worldwide deaths yesterday. With a bank holiday tomorrow and good weather forecast this feels like carte blanche for people to flock to open spaces and create a second peak. This morning I focus on job applications and I'm encouraged to receive an email back from a local company I had applied to last week. I was over-qualified for the vacancy they were advertising but I submitted an application and used my covering letter to explain that I'd welcome the opportunity to talk to them about other roles. We arrange a phone call for next week. I have booked a series of sessions with a professional coach to help me manage my pro-bono responsibili...

Slept really badly and awake feeling terrible, which is less than ideal when I have an interview. I push on and spend the morning preparing - finishing my 10 minute presentation, rehearsing answers to anticipated questions and familiarising myself with the organisation. The interview went pretty well as far as I could tell - body language is hard to read on a Teams call, but it over-ran its hour. I was honest about my shortfall in experience of working directly in the public sector which I'm sure will be my main handicap, but we'll see. A late lunch and then a quick trip to the post box to mail an order and a flying visit to my friend's doorstep to pick up some onions she got me and drop off some tooth tablets. Then some gardening - accompanied by a helicopter passing frequently overhead. I later find out that there was a fight involving a machete in a road nearby and a possibly unrelated chase leading to the arrest in a town centre park of a young man caught dealing drug...

I wake too early again but manage to doze until a sensible hour. I've been feeling a bit sniffly which, having not been in contact with anybody who could have given me a cold or any other kind of illness, I'm putting down to hay fever. I made some fresh bread yesterday so I have some of our honey on toast for breakfast. The breakfast news talks about the tracing software being rolled out in the Isle of Wight as a pilot - first to healthcare workers and later this week to the general population. We should all have it within a few weeks. One of the sustainability groups I belong to on Facebook has offered me the opportunity to have a profile published so I draft a bio for that and send it over, then set up a couple of phone chats with people I've encountered through my network. I'm still looking for job apps but they are fewer now - I suspect HR departments are currently fully occupied working out how to safely return staff to work when the lockdown is over. I make some...

Today should have been a public holiday. I awake too early - before 6 - after a disturbed night and with low energy, I really don't feel very motivated. I set off the bread maker and the dishwasher, then over breakfast I exchange messages with my friend about her daughter - she says her temperature is very high. I manage to get my act into gear, checking the cover for the new house and contents insurance I bought on Thursday, chasing Google about a refund for an ad they sent live without my permission or even notifying me - they are disputing that - and checking for job vacancies to apply for. I postpone until later in the week the PPI check and a job application that's due on Monday. I get a message from my friend in Australia mentioning that she was planning a trip to Scotland this year and suggesting an online whisky tasting at the weekend - great idea! I grab some lunch and then do some work for the climate change partnership, including a call with somebody who has offere...

No time for a lie-in today, I have a zoom call scheduled for 8.30am with my daughter and my friend in Australia. We have a lovely chat, albeit somewhat dominated by the pandemic since we don't every go out and do anything else we can talk about. Inspired by my friend who just got a PPI payout I decide to go through all my papers today - I have filing to do and this will also help me locate the letters I received with next steps for my PPI claims. I get engrossed in that and forget that my sister is due at 11 for socially distanced coffee on the veranda. She brings me flowers, which is a wonderful treat, and I am happy to be able to reciprocate with a couple of tops I don't wear anymore. I finish my filing mid-afternoon and then wash and straighten my hair. It definitely makes me feel more human - although it's getting too long to lie right at the back. Nobody can see that on zoom though! I am fed up with the orange tinge my task light gives to my face, and with a zoom int...

I wake too early again and can't get back to sleep. I'm so fed up with being exhausted. But life goes on … it's so hard to get motivated though. I set the breadmaker off to make a loaf, and that cheers me up. Then some laundry, unload the dishwasher - there's always something to do. It doesn't feel like I'm achieving much, though. I make a vegan tortilla for lunch, following the recipe more exactly than last time when I used roasted parsnips, turnip and carrots that needed using up. I liked the other one better though. I also treat myself to a slice of bread, fresh from the bread maker, topped with some butter I brought back from France that has chunks of salt in it - delicious! I get my son up - eventually - so that he can work on the assignment that's due on Tuesday. I'm worried about him, as he always wakes up exhausted and feeling nauseous, but he's resisting my pressure to call the doctor. There was an online conference this week called The Sp...

Another month begins, and I awake feeling drained after a mostly sleepless night. I go to bed tired and at a sensible time (around 11) but I just can't quiet my mind and my normal tricks of talking books and meditations aren't working.I have a scratchy throat as a result, which normally happens when I'm sleep deprived but under current circumstances unsettles me.  I discovered a new blog last night by Louis Theroux which I will enjoy following, though, and I also had a breakthrough on the name for our pop-up WOMAD susbstitute - NOMAD. I'm up and out by 10.20, for an appointment with the practice nurse for an MMR vaccination. I've registered with the NHS skill bank for office and admin work and it's compulsory. She also recommends I have the pneumonia vaccination - I'm due back in one month for the MMR booster and then a further month for the pneumonia. I drop off a letter to HMRC about the discrepancies in my PAYE info and pop through a friend's lette...